L o l
My friends in a nutshell
I am standing outside in this old pink princess robe I’ve had since elementary school. My dad is next to me, fiddling with his camera to take pictures of the moon. His phone’s timer goes off every minute to remind him to take a picture. He will do this until the moon “moves past the screen” so being the good daughter I am (plus it’s pretty interesting) I have decided to stay with my dad. My mom went to bed a few minutes ago. She put up a good fight to stay up late but she had a really long day at work and yet a longer one tomorrow.
Ah there goes the ding ding ding again. The moon is past the middle of the screen.
Let me now tell you about how my day went. I had a delicious lunch and finally ate the egg tart I bought. Then the juniors plus Karen came over to my house for their interview. We were pretty off task for the first hour but the interview went great. Then after almost everyone left, Rosie and I rewatched a bunch of old spring show videos LOLLLL and after she left I watched old dau and china dance videos. I had a pretty good and nostalgic day.
The moon is almost out of the screen.
I’m gonna miss doing stuff like this next year. Next year as in school year aka in a couple of months. PS it’s been 20 minutes.
Wei Zhao makes sweet buns in shaolin soccer, this movie still cracks me up
Lol that awkward moment when two kids who don’t go mv keep talking about mv and colleges while they’re standing right behind me. Did I mention I’m wearing a monta vista shirt?
captain america’s list of things he missed while frozen (in different countries)
A couple of days ago, I asked someone to tell me about the different dance troupes at Cal. I’ve never had a real conversation with her before. The longest face to face conversation we had was a typical hi how are you bye conversation, 2 (or is it 3?) years ago at my brother’s graduation. She gave me a lot of great insight and I started to explore youtube videos and official websites. But the only thing I got out of my research was fear.
Yesterday, I watched the last 30 minutes of MVDT audition workshops. It was so fun to watch and I had such a great time. Seeing how everyone, even those who tried out before but didn’t make it, improved was really moving. But, of course, I saw the same fear I’m experiencing right now in some of their eyes.
The last time I auditioned for a team was 4 years ago when I was still in 8th grade. Sure, I’ve done auditions at conventions and even Super Sensational at elite camp is a type of audition, but I don’t remember what it’s like to try out for a team. I don’t know if I can pick up that choreography. I don’t know if I’ve lost my own style. And I’m especially afraid I’ve become just another generic dancer.
I think I have what it takes to make the cut, even though I can’t really see it. I could watch myself dance in videos over and over again and still not understand why I’ve received the recognition I was so blessed to receive.
But, I’m not so sure I have what it takes to bring what I have when it matters the most.
And I know there’s so much more than this that I should be worried about right now, like classes, and financial aid, and completing all the right paperwork and stuff like that but seeing the new team take off reminded me that I can’t always be known as a Marquesa.
As I figure out who I am as a person, will I be able to find who I am as a dancer?